random thoughts

Have you ever been asked “If you could go back in time and change one thing what would it be?” Whenever I’m asked that question I always find myself responding “No”, but then I think.Maybe I should have done my homework… Maybe I should have gone to class… Maybe I shouldn’t have drank that extra shot… Maybe I shouldn’t have driven my car that night… Maybe I should have stopped my friends from doing drugs… Maybe I should have spent more time with my grandpa…Maybe I should have prayed to God…Maybe I should have been a better son…Maybe I shouldn’t have fought with my brother… Maybe I should have kept in touch with that friend…Have you ever had that friend that you used to be so tight with, and then you stop talking, and when you see them it’s like you have never even met? Awkward, right
Or have you ever woken up in the morning and thought “Damn, today is going to be a terrible day.” This has happened to me far too many times. I get myself worked up about such petty and trivial nonsense that I get myself angry and depressed. I let time pass me by as I sit in my room in isolation. Missing out on experiences I could have had. People I could have met. Things I could have done. Sometimes I just stop on the world… But the world doesn’t stop on me, it doesn’t stop for anybody.It’s ironic though, most people I meet don’t see this in me. They see me as a friendly, laidback, and funny person, which is very true, but they don’t see the regret in me. We all have regrets and problems, but we all cope differently with these challenges that confront us. Some of us live in the past, some the present, and some always worried about what the future has in store for us. I find myself living day by day, but struggling to let go of some of my past.

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